When it passes…

How many times have you found yourself in a situation where you said – I will make my dreams come true, do some sports, hobbies when this week, when this exam passes, when this project delivery deadlines passes… when it passes…
I use those three words constantly as an excuse.

I will be happier just to pass the week, I will be happier just to have a weekend without commitments and tasks. I will be happier just when…

I was expecting such a weekend two weeks ago – I had just solved the task at work, finished driving school for that week and the weekend promised idling with series and a total mind reset.
I was looking forward to it, and now it’s one of the worst weekends of my life.
It’s a weekend I spent in fear of my grandmother’s life that came to an end that Monday.

Then, like a many times before, I concluded that there is – no break, no life without stress (but only with less stress), no perfect moment.

It is up to us to learn to accept those imperfect moments and dance our dance through the storm.
I don’t know what to call this happening to me but a storm. A world-class hurricane? After which you fall with the restraints of despair, or take off like a superhero.
I hope to go to this other one.
My mom and grandma raised a strong woman. I’ll show them that.

I want you to learn from my example, that you don’t have to wait for knowledge to hit you. Some things need to be said and done as soon as possible before you feel regret.

I had my last conversation with my grandmother two weeks ago. Last ever. The conversation ended in a nice tone. I was lucky.
It’s not always like that for everyone. Make sure you end each conversation in a cheerful tone. Not because it might be the last, but because life is too short to be angry at others.

The transience of life is frightening. Especially when it comes to your mind. Because sometimes you say those sentences and think you understand. But then something hits you and you realize them in another dimension.
However, what is not transient are our good deeds, our kind words, the feelings we have given to people around us.

A million times I have concluded that there is no perfect moment, but I often forget that.
I won’t this time. That’s why I’m writing here as well to have as a reminder.

I wondered what to do with myself. I decided to stick to my plans and go on my vacation.
It wouldn’t help me to stay home because I know the memories would suffocate me.
I’m not yet at the stage where memories make me happy. They make me sad right now.
I will go swimming, read books, run away from the sun. Drink coffee and cocktails. Enjoy even for those who can no longer do so in this world.
Grieve in a new way. Instead of crying, grieve by celebrating life.

And you? You forget “when it passes” and do something today. Something for yourself.